Mow
by Amor-deliria-nervosa-7491
Summary: Funny one-shot about a card game between the Heroes of Olympus, after the giant war in Camp Half-Blood. Dedicated to goldie031 because she should know exactly what is to come. Rated T for cursing.


**A/N: hi hi! Sorry, it's been such a long time. I thought of putting this in Hp form, but then I decided that a daughter of Athena would have a much better reaction. This story is dedicated to goldie031, who should know exactly what is coming in this story.**

Annabeth's P.O.V.

Percy comes running from the Big House, a broad smile crossing his face. Uh oh. This cannot be good. I try to smile at him as he steadily approaches closer and closer. Piper notices my uneasiness, and nudges Jason, who nudges Leo, who nudges Hazel, who nudges Frank, who nudges the air and blushes.

Percy sidles in next to me and Frank, and takes out a pack of the most dangerous and monstrous looking thing I've ever seen. I mean, it's so deadly, I don't know why all the satyrs haven't come running for-

"It's a deck of cards." Says Percy. He holds out the pack of it. It's so simple, yet so deadly. He smirks at me. He's got me. Me, the all-powerful daughter of Athena, possibly the most clever and wise one ever, has been stumped here by her ignorant boyfriend. Percy knows this. I haven't ever played a card game in my life.

"We're going to play a game I just discovered." He says. Oh no. "It's called Mow. (Tee hee, goldie031) I'm not going to tell you the rules, because that's the point of the game. You're supposed to figure out all the rules for yourself." Piper grins next to me. "I will tell you one rule. For the number nine, it switches the direction of play. Here are the standard rules: you start with five cards, and the point is to get rid of them. Every time you do something wrong, you get a penalty. When you put down your last card, you say, 'Thank you for playing the unconventional five card game of Mow.' That's all there is to it. Oh, and no talking. Do the time-out sign if you need to talk. If you think you've figured out a rule, whisper it to me and I'll tell you if you're right." Percy says as he deals out the cards, five for each.

"No talking starting...now!" Percy puts down a card, the number two, and turns to me. I put down a king of spades. Percy waits. Then he picks up a card.

"Penalty for not doing the hand motions."

"Dammit!"

"Penalty for not saying thank you, penalty for not saying king of spades, penalty for speaking." he gives me the cards.

"Dammit!"

"Penalty for speaking, penalty for not saying thank you." he gives me two more cards. "Oh, and you get this card back, too," he says, and he hands me back the king. I now have eleven cards. Then I hear a ruffling next to me. Piper's now rolling on the grass, shaking with silent laughter, and Percy has an excellent poker face. Anger boils up in me.

Piper's P.O.V.

Annabeth looks so angry. When I finally get the hang of my laughter, I sit up, and Annabeth is staring down Percy. Finally, she curses.

"θεός γαμημένο το καταραμένο!" Frank and Hazel wince. This makes me laugh even harder than before. Annabeth throws down her cards in fury, scattering them all over the place. This time, she says it in English.

"Percy, may the gods f***ing damn you!" Annabeth hates losing at anything. At this point, everyone is laughing.

"Ugh!" says Annabeth, and she stomps her feet and storms away.

"Ah, jeez!" says Percy, suddenly looking worried. "Annabeth, wait up!" he runs away after her. A piece of paper flutters from his pocket, neatly folded. It says, _Do not open. _I shrug, and break the seal anyways. The top says, "Rules of Mow." I giggle, and hand it to Jason, who reads it out loud because this is too much for me.

"Rules of Mow," he reads. "For numbers one through five, do nothing. For number six, whoever picks it up, the person to their left, or right, depending on direction of play, is skipped. For number seven, say, 'Have a nice day'. For number eight, say, 'Mmm, good donuts.' For number nine, switch the order of the direction of play, and say, 'Switch'. For number ten, do nothing. For jacks and queens, say 'Hail the Jack/Queen.' For King, do the hand motions: raise both fists and say, 'Huh, huh, hooo.' Note: at end of game, make sure they say, 'Thank you for playing the unconventional five card game of Mow'. No speaking. For a spade of any number, say '(insert number or face acrd name here) of spades.' For each thing they do against the rules, give a penalty. For each time they do not say thank you for a penalty, give another penalty." Jason folds it neatly up again and puts it back on the ground where it originally lay on the ground. Then he starts to laugh. Really hard.

Hazel's P.O.V.

Jason is laughing so hard, he doesn't realize that Percy and a tear-soaked Annabeth have returned. Percy scowls when he sees the piece of paper on the ground. He stoops down to pick it up.

"You didn't read this, did you?" he says. Piper is quick. She waggles her fingers at the piece of paper.

"What is that?" she says, sounding curious, and the charmspeak washes over all of us. What is that? But we all know what it is. Piper says to Jason, "Stop laughing." and he immediately does, his face turning solemn. Percy's scowl lines lessen, and suddenly Annabeth starts to giggle. Then the giggles catch Piper. She starts to laugh. Then Jason. Then Leo. Then me. Then Frank. Two minutes pass by, and we're all laughing so hard, I think we may have started to cry. Piper sounds hysterical. Jason is shaking like mad. Leo is pounding the ground with his fists, and Frank is wiping his eyes. Me, I'm laughing so hard that all the precious gems that are near me are starting to be attracted to me. I'm soon as covered in expensive gems as Alcyoneus was. Then I force them away. Percy is still looking oblivious as to why we're all laughing so hard. Annabeth drops to the ground, tears of laughter streaming down her face. The piece of paper that's clutched in Percy's hand flutters to the floor. I start to calm down.

"Percy, do you have a great memory?" I ask him. It's such a harmless and ridiculous question that Percy shakes his head. I laugh even harder. Then I nudge Leo. He looks at me. "Go set that piece of paper on fire," I whisper to him. Leo pretends to be dragging himself to the Big House to get some nectar for our laughing fits. As he nears the piece of paper, his palm lights up and sets it on fire as his hand grazes the paper. Percy stares at the piece of paper, horrorstruck. Instead of dousing it with water, he dives for it, but Leo is quicker. He grabs the now ablaze piece of paper with his bare hands, which extinguishes the fire and rips it up into tiny pieces, then sets those on fire. Annabeth is laughing as hard as ever.

The now demolished list of rules is gone. Percy screams to high heavens for a better memory. Percy is now in shock. Leo crawls to the Big House to get some nectar, and when he emerges, he's carrying a canteen and sipping it. He force feeds it to Annabeth, then Piper, then Jason, then Frank, then me. Then Jason and Frank carry Percy to the Big House infirmary. Annabeth no longer has a fear of card games, because Leo set the cards on fire too.

**A/N: So, funny or not? Review please! Especially you, goldie031.**

**Translation of the Greek Annabeth said (θεός γαμημένο το καταραμένο)- God f**king damn!**


End file.
